Heya! Thanks for registering and applying. Welcome to the IES forums! We could really use more proofreaders so I hope you get in!
Here's some problems I noticed with your test:
- Readability - Make sure all the sentences sound normal and fluid in English while retaining their original meaning.
- Punctuation - Every sentence should have correct punctuation. An attention to detail is essential. Put commas before a person's name is said and remember to use colons when listing something.
- Compound words - Words like "somebody", "everybody", "anyone", etc. are one word and not two.
Here are some errors I noticed in your test:
-(top right) Master
, work is work!
-(title) Judgement 2
: Apple Tree 4
-(top left) Story
: Youn In-Wan
-Art
: Yang Kyung-Il
-Release of the huge hit!! Shin Angyo Onshi
. All 17 Volumes!!
Page 2
-There is
a hope!
Don't give up until the end! The next move is...!?
-Master! When Nami was being taken away...she said something about a florist
.-Where is it
, Bichula?
-Nice one
, Bichula!
(Make sure those character names are spelled correctly!)Page 3
-Welcome, how fortunate
we are to have you with us today
. <3
(Word order, punctuation)-And what would you be searching for at Enzel Flower? Angel-sama
.<3
-Stop it
, Bichula!
We have no time
. We need to find the Innocence Item before Nami is dropped into hell!
(Both clauses make complete sentences, so a comma is insufficient. These can be split into two separate sentences or divided with a semi-colon.)Page 4
-(top right) The Story So Far
: In order to return to the demon world, the banished devil
, Kucabara
, is acting as a lawyer for a sinner. This time, the Unknown Soul
, Nami
, has been judged by Kucabara not to have committed suicide.
-If dogs are forced to do
es that to fill their bellies,
-Than how would it work for you
, humans...
Page 5
-Welcome to my place of torment
. (TN- The words used were literally 'hell
,' but considering what comes next
, it doesn't work so well when translated as hell in
English, so I went with this instead
.)
Page 6
-I am a gentleman. I don't personally inflict pain upon sinners. / In my hell
, pain is not given,
because it is produced... (Removed 'because' for readability.)
-The weak are eaten, the strong eat. /
But No matter how many times a soul dies it will soon be revived.
(It is improper to start a complete sentence with the words "but" or "and" since they are conjunctions. Please avoid this when possible.)Page 7
-
Why,
Page 8
-Let
's try searching little bit more.
-We couldn't find anything at the station
, right?
-You've been with me for
this long but you still don't understand me.
(Added the word "this" for sentence fluidity.)Page 9
-You're not at all like someone who committed suicide
. / You are showing such a passion to live.
Page 10
-Like I said
, / There aren't any traces left at the station.
-Dammit... / There must be
some thing. something..
-Do you know the special strength of a Shinigami
?-
That It is an ability to manipulate reality...a little bit of it.
(Since he hasn't told us what the strength is yet, "it" would be more appropriate than "that". "That" refers to something that's already been discussed.)-Tha
t day when you started to lose your footing near the tracks,
(Typo! You'll probably want to run the proof through a word editing program like Word or Open Office to check for those.)Page 11
-That's the place where
someone someone who help
ed me die
d.
(This sentence should be in the past tense.)Page 13
-You never learn
, do you
?!
(He's asking a question.)-There was a
snow storm snowstorm that day...
Page 14
-
Every one Everyone was just searching for romance
in the snow...
("In" sounds better than "on" here.)-
No body Nobody turned an eye towards a homeless guy like me.
Page 15
-"Keep on trying, mister
."
(Wrong placement of the period.)-"Tomorrow, even if the world is destroyed, I'll plant an apple tree today
."
Or something like that...
Page 18
-I will now make the closing statement
-On Nami's behalf
. (Period here, not a question mark.)-Everything has been made clear by the coat in his hand. Next time,
the conclusion!
Since there were quite a few errors in this test, it may be necessary to issue a second test. The head proofreader, Luffy, will get back to you with that.
