Hi there! I'm so sorry about the long wait! >_<
I'll be going through your test today. :)
p.118
Text: However, it's you too that's being deceptive. You're talking about your "imagination" since you too have your favourable story line of "She chose on her own to stay by her love".
- A person is being deceptive, so "that's" should be "who's".
- Two "too"'s are a bit repetitive, so you can change the first one to "also" and rearrange the sentence a bit to make it grammatically correct.
- "Story line" should be one word.
p.119
Niko: Your a liar!!!
- "Your" should be "you're". (You are.)
Fran: Maybe it's a lie // I thought it would be nice if it was like that.
- Missing punctuation.
p.120
Text: The truth of non-fiction is almost helpless before "imagination". As for this world, everything is about fact based on evidence.
- Don't change "fiction" to "non-fiction". They are talking about the "truth" of "fiction", so don't change it even if you think it's incorrect. If so, you can always ask the translator. (If it's a real TL.)
Fran: It doesn't matter whether it's true or false. Since it's you who decides if my story was true / You should just accept that if it was interesting.
- Missing punctuation before the bubble split.
p.121
Fran: That's why the listener decides on what truth their own hearts wants.
- The subject should be plural. So "the listener decides" should be "the listeners decide".
- Oh, and "wants" should be "want".
Text: "Cage of Polaris". / This cage is made up of thought called "me", this would also be the truth for people who are happy being locked in a cage.
- Change the comma into a period.
p.122
Niko: I don't understand the difficult stuff, though... / I understand one thing!
- Keep Niko talking in 3rd person.
p.123
Fran: --Aah, it's around time for me to go, otherwise it will be too dark.
- Change "around" to "about".
~*~*~*~*~
After going through your test, I'm afraid I cannot pass you. Thank you for applying!
